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Political Limericks
1996 Election Year In The USA
And Beyond
Forget the propaganda. I
want to go right to the limericks!
Newest entry posted February 7, 1998.
Original limericks about the 1996 American Presidential Election by Betty Ann Cassano, written June/July 1996 with frequent additions in the days following. Most centering on Bill and Hillary Clinton and the White House Gang. Some just for fun, others completely serious. Conservative point of view. Social liberals be warned: if you're thin-skinned, it's time to hit the "back" button and go on to something less irritating.
November 1996: Well, the election is over but the beat goes on. Also the stupidity, corruption and general abuse of power in the heart of the greatest nation in the entire world. This is no time to go wimpy. If there is any hope for improvement, we must keep our eyes on the political scene, both in Washington D.C. and in our own states.
Following politics isn't so hard if you remember a few things:
#1: If it doesn't make sense, it doesn't make sense. If things are on the right track, they will make sense.
#2: If a politician (or anyone else for that matter) can't explain what he or she wants to do in simple enough terms for you to understand it, then there is something basically wrong with the plan. And it's OK to question it and be suspicious.
#3: Always be on the lookout for hidden agendas. They're not too hard to spot. They almost always begin and end with a money trail.
#4: And above all else, when it comes to the people we choose to lead us, character counts!That's Why The Theme For This Page Is:
INCLUDED ON THIS PAGE:
Limericks - Bill and Hillary Clinton (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (first entries posted 8-3-96, latest entries posted 9-20-96. There are 75 limericks total.)
Political Limericks - New Additions (first entries posted 9-23-96, latest entries posted 2-7-98. There are over 200 limericks in this group. A running commentary on the political scene. Yes, it's biased. It's my page. I write 'em as I see 'em.)
Limericks - Chris Dodd, George Stephanopoulos and James Carville (posted during Republican convention. Just 3 limericks in this group. One for each guy.)Political Limericks - Page Two (latest "other authors" entries posted 10-6-96)
I have added a "Page Two" because this page was getting out of hand. Some of my old stuff has been shifted over to Page Two but there are also a number of limericks written by guest authors.Political Limericks - Other Authors (first entries posted 11-19-97) Limericks by Doug Cogan and Bill Lahr.
Links To Other Pages:
The links at the bottom of the page will take you to my COMPANION RABBIT/PET limericks and stories as well as the NURSING/MEDICAL limericks and stories I have written over the years. Also, a link to my son's LIGHTNING NEWS which covers events of interest to us here in the Redding and Shasta Lake areas in Northern California. If you have an off-beat sense of humor, you'll get a chuckle out of his slant on "the news".
Now........That's the page in a nutshell. No fancy graphics. Nothing but words, words and more words. If you can read, you're set. And if you've been following the USA political news, I think you will recognize the ideas, events and people I have based my limericks on. And not a single hint of "free verse". As far as I'm concerned, if it doesn't rhyme, it's not worth my time!* * * * * * * *
BILL AND HILLARY
AND THE WHITE HOUSE GANG
Clinton's promises really are cheap.
They roll off his tongue in his sleep.
When they fail to come true,
Willy knows what to do:
"Feel your pain, hang his head and then weep".
With Bill Clinton, don't be taken in;
He'll say anything just so he'll win.
Promises from his mouth
Quickly turn and go south
Just as soon as the ballots are in.
Clinton thinks we're a bunch of dumb sheep
Whose votes can be bought off real cheap.
It's time that he learned
The main flock has turned.
It's time to shear Little Bo Peep.
Our country is in steep decline;
The White House is losing its shine.
Its image is hurt
By Arkansas dirt
And muck from the resident swine.
To some, Bill's a marvelous chap.
They blindly fall into his trap.
When all signs shout, "BEWARE!!",
They simply don't care.
Their brains must be down for a nap.
It is time to end Slick Willy's reign.
If we don't, we are truly insane.
If he really does care,
He'll get out of our hair
And relieve us of most of our pain.
Clinton's world has turned cloudy and dark
As the Congress now circles like sharks.
If I were a crony,
(Especially old Tony)
I'd make a point to stay out of the park.
As King Bill nightly paces his tower,
His conquest of the White House tastes sour.
For he's never alone,
Always watched by the crone,
And the ghosts of Miss Jones and Miss Flowers.
Clinton's White House turns steadily grayer,
As corruption's exposed in thick layers.
Rules were easy to bend.
Just a means to an end.
And who pays? Just one guess! The taxpayers!
The president dodges and flinches
As scandals tighten 'round him by inches.
His mind's occupied
Trying to save his own hide,
Leaving others to feel all the pinches.* * *
The current White House occupier,
A frequent eye dabber and drier,
Squeezes out funeral tears
When news cameras are near.
He's America's number one crier.
Here's a tip that I can't make much plainer:
"Beware the deceitful campaigner".
We need a great man,
With a solid game plan,
Not a giant-sized empty container.
The White House is quaking in terror.
They can't run away from their "errors".
Though they hide it and spin it,
The White House can't win it.
Old Bill should have learned to play fairer.
Each day Bill's "spin doctors" conspire
To clean up the acts of a liar.
Clinton thinks he is shrewd,
But in the end he'll get screwed,
And his fat will fall into the fire.
When it comes to dealing with sin,
Bill Clinton meets sin with a grin.
Self-denial? What for?
Bill knows the score.
Dirty linen can be cleaned with a spin.
Bill and Hillary had big dreams of Cam-e-lot
But their sleazy ways tripped them and they-got-caught.
To escape with their skins
They must drop their fake grins
And make tracks to that place known as "Scam-e-lot".
In the past, Bill had lots of defenders,
Black and white, high and low, and all genders.
But Golden Boy's goin' down.
His old pals can't be found.
They don't want to join Bill in the blender.
I feel kind of sorry for Gore.
He said "yes" without knowing the score.
His career is now sunk
Because of a skunk
And he's linked to a crook evermore.
What info did the White House compile
From those secretive FBI files?
And I wonder who'll wince
When they check them for prints?
Just the thought makes Republicans smile.
When the lid on the "Filegate" thing blew,
Clinton said it was all a "SNAFU".
He put the blame on
Some low-level pawn,
And then swore "that was all that he knew."* * *
Though you live your life free from all guile,
You may still have an FBI file.
Could you let it slide
If you suddenly spied
Your own file on the top of the pile?
Clinton thinks he's the cock of the walk
And likes lots of young hens in his flock.
But his days as a rover
Are soon to be over,
His wings clipped by a small chicken hawk.
"Factually challenged" is a kind way of saying
You can't trust a Democrat's braying.
Telling lies with each breath,
Scaring old folks to death;
It's their style of "political haying."
When the Clinton's are caught in a goof,
They ignore it by staying aloof.
Then comes the pouting
And finally the shouting,
"Oh, yeah? You don't have any proof!!"
Clinton promised with unvarnished gall,
The "most ethical White House of all".
Now, with friends jailed and dead,
His face should be red.
Does he care? It appears, not at all.
In order to float their own boat
The Democrats must have your vote.
If you give it away,
They'll be here to stay.
And they'll grab all of us by the throat.
Clinton "cares about you" because he
Needs your vote and knows you hold the key.
If your vote he does sway,
Be assured, you will pay,
When he goes on a power-drunk spree.
About Hillary? What can I say?
We learn more about her each day.
She has the power
To make Clinton cower,
And the others stay out of her way.
Clinton promised new cops on the beat
To chase violence and crime from our streets.
What I want to know
Is, "Where did they go?
Did they all beat a hasty retreat?"
When Bill Clinton is down in the polls,
And his campaign is out of control,
A victim comes forward
And falls on his sword
To make sure Clinton reaches his goal.* * *
I think most of us can agree
The White House must be panicky.
They scramble about
Hoping we won't find out
The stuff they don't want us to see.
All the chickens are loose from their coop
And the White House has flies in its soup.
Manure and flies
And huge bald-faced lies
Are designed to make all of us dupes.
The White House does not guarantee
Your file is safe from appointees.
They can go smugly through it,
Digging dirt as they do it,
Defiling your rights of privacy.
Bill and Hillary are quiet as mice
As they follow their lawyer's advice.
In the meanwhile,
The FBI files
Have old Slick Willy's balls in a vice.
Clinton's lawyers are all on alert
As they frantically sweep up the dirt.
The fumes from the files
Promise proof of pure guile.
And the outcome will not be inert.
The file scandal takes a new twist:
The files have good reason to exist.
They were using the files
To help Hillary compile
The new White House Christmas Card list.
Citizens! You are now warned:
Your privacy rights have been scorned!!
Orwell's "1984"
Plus another 12 more
Herald a loss that will ever be mourned.
Oh, Neighbors, just what have we done?
We're caught in a web we have spun.
We helped Clinton spin it
And now we're caught in it
And the spider won't stop till he's done.
When your passion for Bill has gone sour,
Just obstruct his addiction to power.
You can squelch the game plan
Of the razorback clan
If you send them all off to the showers.
It's amazing that Clinton still tries
To pull the wool over our eyes.
When we finally awoke,
And got rid of the smoke,
We could see clearly through all the lies.* * *
The guy in the White House is Bill.
He's up to his fat neck in swill.
If he continues to sink
He'll wind up in the clink,
A shark with a gaff in his gill.
The White House is like a cartoon,
A tag team led by a buffoon.
These mental midgets
Are beginning to fidget.
They'll be gone by the next harvest moon.
An idea I'd like to advance
Concerns Bill's political dance.
When asked why they'll vote
For a randy old goat,
Women say, "Just to give him a chance."
I think there is something alarming
That so many perceive Bill as "charming."
Just what does it take
To recognize a snake?
Are his theatrical ploys that disarming?
Bill Clinton makes some women flip.
His "charm" makes their hearts race and skip.
This strange lunacy
Is a mystery to me.
My advice: "Get a life! Get a grip!!"
Rent out the White House? Why not?
Auction Abe's Bedroom? So what?
The donations he'll gain
Will finance Bill's campaign,
And it proves Democrats can be bought.
A shout will be heard 'cross the land
When Clinton is finally canned.
For all of our sakes,
He must pack up and take
His wife and their whole rag-tag band.
If a camera is pointed Bill's way,
He slips into his "role" right away.
To the press, he can lie.
At a funeral? He'll cry.
"Photo ops" are his game-winning plays.
Clinton's White House will be overthrown.
He's about to be pushed off the throne.
One pawn of the king
Is getting ready to sing.
And it may or may not be Livingstone.
Bill's facade is starting to slip.
The veneer is now hanging in strips.
As each layer peels 'way,
We can find only clay,
And there isn't an inch without chips.
I'm tired of old Billy Boy's bleating,
As well as his lying and cheating.
This shameless, moral cretin
Won't quit till he's beaten,
He's a guy who deserves a defeating.
Farewell to Bill Clinton and Gore.
Their ship's going down far from shore.
Pardon my quip,
But "Have a nice trip!"
We simply can't stand four years more.* * *
"Our Democrat lead will not soften,
If our party votes early and often!
And if that's not enough,
Have the ballot box stuffed,
Absentee votes from Democrat coffins."August 26, 1996
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A new campaign twist is before us,
The steep fall from grace by Dick Morris.
But don't watch for a sob
From those after his job.
Just watch for a huge tug-o-war-us.August 29, 1996
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The Dick Morris-Prostitute muss
Kicked up a new Democrat fuss.
But it cleaned up real quick
When they found out that Dick
"Absorbed heat" and was, therefore, a plus.September 3, 1996
To boost up his poll numbers more,
Clinton ordered our troops into war.
Bill led them with verve,
And cold, steely nerve,
As he waved from America's shore.September 3, 1996
No matter what November brings,
We can still be assured of one thing:
Clinton's star will sink lower
'Cause White Water ain't over,
And it won't be, till the First Lady sings.September 3, 1996
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bill's pals swear that he is dependable,
His friendship and loyalty unbendable.
So it comes as surprise
When they each realize
That when push comes to shove, they're expendable!September 4, 1996
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
My tax bill: I'd sure like to throw it!
I send money, then government blows it.
The money they seize
Does NOT grow on trees!
But I don't think the IRS knows it.
Cut the hype, cut the hoke, cut the chatter!
Bottom line: Campaign speeches don't matter.
Just cut to the chase
And make sure you replace
The tax code with one fairer and flatter!
Dick Morris is ready to squeal.
He's signed a big Random House deal.
Will he trade Clinton's neck
For a book and a check?
How much will he actually reveal?September 5, 1996
* * *
The news media's left-leaning slant
Persuades those with the brain of an ant
To ignore what is true
Till they haven't a clue
That their king is a giant eggplant!
Clinton's friends in the media strive
To make sure that their candidate thrives.
"Good news!" takes the stage
Right on the front page,
But the scandals always land on page five.September 7, 1996
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Hillary's often at odds with her mister
And when Clinton sniffed "flowers", it pissed 'er.
But she takes it in stride,
Just swallows her pride,
While she plots the return of "The Twister."
We are tired of the hawing and hemming.
What we want is a "big spending" stemming.
Liberals lead us along
With a false-noted song.
Aren't you tired of just being a lemming?
The latest White House Romeo
Is about to reel in lots of dough.
I'm sure Bill won't mind
That Dick's book deal was signed
In secret almost 5 months ago.September 9, 1996
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
To prove she is no tattletale,
Miss Susie McDee went to jail.
But she is no dunce.
In a couple of months
She'll be out with a story for sale.September 10, 1996
Have you noticed Al Gore recently?
He is getting more time on T.V.
If Bill falls in disgrace
We'll have Gore in his place
As he trades his V.P. for plain P.September 10, 1996
When a politician struts around like he's God,
That's a clue that his mission is flawed.
And if he has a sly smirk,
He's a bona fide jerk!
Vote him out! Put an end to his fraud!September 17, 1996
F.O.P. bosses just made a "sale":
"Union votes" to help Clinton prevail.
But rank and file aren't amused.
They resent being "used"
By those who might end up in jail.September 18, 1996
(F.O.P. = Fraternal Order of Police)
* * *
King Clinton has done it again
As he rules with a stroke of his pen.
To hang onto his throne
Utah miners can groan.
Who cares about plain citizens?
"One more monument's what the folks need!
After all, mining's based upon greed.
If we keep the coal there,
It won't dirty the air."
(And "earth first" votes will be guaranteed!)September 19, 1996
Did the people in Utah have a say
About the land that was stolen away?
Or did they lose all their rights
To a thief in the night
With an "executive order" power play?"If Utah's wealth and her job base should dive,
It's OK 'cause her votes equal five.
And since those five are lost,
Just let them pay the cost,
As they angrily buzz in their hive."And so that is why Utah folks feel
Clinton grabbed their rich land in a steal.
Then signed their rights all away
In Arizona that day,
Not in Utah where they'll feel the raw deal.(Arizona has 8 electoral votes that Clinton hopes to snag.)
September 20, 1996
LIMERICKS - NEW ADDITIONS
The most recent limericks are here at the top. New visitors who want to read the limericks in this section in chronological order should start at the bottom and work their way up. I have decided on this layout to make it easier for daily visitors to go directly to the newest offerings. The election is over but the executive and congressional branch problems are not.
**********************
I have learned a new word; it is "parse".
With this method, plain talk becomes farce.
Just massage every word:
'til the message is blurred
And any likeness to truth becomes sparse.February 7, 1998
Many men ponder Clinton's effect
On the females he seems to collect.
Well, here's what I think:
Bill is pudgy and pink,
"Just a child" Moms forgive and protect.February 7, 1998
Sam Donaldson's back on The Hill,
Putting pressure on President Bill.
He seems glad to be back,
At the front of the pack,
Exercising his fact-finding skills.February 6, 1998
I felt sorry for poor Betty Currie,
On her way to speak to the Grand Jury.
She could not disguise
The fear in her eyes.
What she knows causes some folks to worry.February 6, 1998
Clinton's White House career has been reckless.
Is he out-of-control or just feckless?
When confronted with sin,
He can't help but dive in.
Scandals hang 'round his neck like a necklace.February 5, 1998
It doesn't take much to amuse
A guy with his pants 'round his shoes,
When a lecherous old fart
Finds a bold little tart
Making offers he just can't refuse.February 4, 1998
Mystery visits by "Mon" have folks buzzin'.
It's been said there were over three dozen.
Maybe trips to Bill's study
Were just to see Buddy
And she's just one of Bill's kissin' cousins.February 3, 1998
The blame should not fall on the sleuth
If the facts turn out cheap and uncouth.
Ken Starr can't be faulted
If Bill feels assaulted.
Sounds like Bill is afraid of the truth!February 1, 1998
Clinton's spin docs emerged right on cue,
To deny what we all know is true.
The aim of their action
Is to cause mass distraction.
That's what makes this a hullabaloo!February 1, 1998
Miss Lewinsky, with lawyer in tow,
To shield Bill, will accept every blow.
Did either or both
Tell lies under oath?
That's the thing that we all want to know.February 1, 1998
Once again Bill's embroiled in great strife.
It's a pattern that shapes his whole life.
With her usual reaction,
Hillary went into action,
Acting more like a mother than wife.January 28, 1998
Democrats are now shaking with fear
As they sense that a meltdown is near.
A new witness signed on.
Wiggle-room is all gone.
Their prize bull has been changed to a steer.January 26, 1998
Once again Clinton's out on a ledge
As Ken Starr's team continues to dredge
Up witnesses and facts
About unlawful acts.
The "First Fanny" hangs over the edge.January 26, 1998
Will the perks in the White House today,
Wither up, be withdrawn, blow away?
Will Clinton's carousing
End his public housing?
When he leaves, will the White House be Gray?January 26, 1998
White House spin doctors, tight-lipped with speech,
Need a plan to clean up and throw bleach
On the mountain of muck
In which Clinton is stuck
Like a sick whale washed up on the beach.January 25, 1998
Uncle Bob doesn't think much of Starr
And he thinks the probe's gone way too far.
But it's hard to escape
All the stuff down on tape.
Clinton's lifestyle is simply bizarre!January 25, 1998
Thoughts on Bill's sexual exploits are mixed
With the whole nation's focus transfixed.
Why don't we call a cab
And send Bill and his Lab
To the vet and have both of them "fixed"?January 23, 1998
Though married, Bill still likes to date.
It's apparently OK with his mate.
But his penchant to stray
Led to full-blown decay.
Now his backside is caught in Tail-gate!January 22, 1998
Mrs. Clinton did not look amused,
And appeared to be fairly short-fused,
When I saw her today,
Walking grimly away
From the guy who is being accused.January 22, 1998
Starr and Clinton are engaged in a duel
While the Press fans the flames and adds fuel.
Al Gore and his staff
Try hard not to laugh
As they wait for their own turn to rule.January 22, 1998
The thing Paula's critics don't see
Is that she was a state employee.
If the boss wants to play,
Must she yield and obey?
Should a lecher be let off scott-free?January 20, 1998
Now Miss Herman is under the gun
For wrongdoing some say she has done.
Influence in exchange
For checks, cash and some change
Will buy grief that the girl can't outrun!January 18, 1998
Long ago Clinton brashly deduced
That his sex life sure needed a boost.
Now he's getting the bills
For all the cheap thrills.
Clinton's chickens have come home to roost!January 18, 1998
Deposition is one way of prying
To unearth crimes from which you've been shying.
But if you did commit it,
Simply do not admit it.
It's up to them to show proof you are lying.January 18, 1998
The Jones case points up Clinton's flaws
And has grown in importance because
The voters want facts.
Did he solicit sex acts?
Bottom line: Does he smirk at our laws?January 18, 1998
A high-ranking southern corn pone
Must be feeling a chill in his bones.
He faces deposin'
And may end up frozen
From exposure, cold shoulder and Jones.January, 16, 1998
The FBI still wants to know
If Bill received illegal dough.
The White Water scheme's
Ripping out at the seams
And Bill doesn't know how to sew.November 19, 1997
Disrespect for Marines toppled Lister,
Who resigned before Clinton dismissed her.
Her true feelings exposed,
Sara's future slammed closed.
She went home knowing nobody missed her.November 16, 1997
The Iraq situation grows tense
While the world waits in breathless suspense.
Why has hostile Hussein
Been allowed off his chain?
A mad dog with a hole in the fence?November 14, 1997
AG Reno and FBI Freeh
Apologized to Fred T's committee.
Evidence is now plain,
Bill's fundraising campaign
Links Asian cash to the plagued DNC.November 14, 1997
Campaign donors drank coffee in groups
While the president shook hands 'round the loop.
Most folks now agree,
They didn't drink "free"
As Bill skillfully fleeced wealthy dupes.October 8, 1997
Senate hearings on the IRS
Have dug into a genuine mess.
Testimony has shown
What we've always known,
And the rest of it, we could have guessed.September 29, 1997
A.G. Reno is now in a bind
Due to documents she "couldn't find".
Clinton/Gore money schemes
Have destroyed all her dreams.
Now she wishes that she had resigned.September 22, 1997
Al Gore's life is increasingly tense
As his lawyers plot out his defense.
Asian monks, temple gongs,
Campaign funding gone wrong.
Mr. Gore should have used better sense.September 22, 1997
To help meet DNC's money crunch
Temple monks held a fund-raiser lunch.
V.P. Gore was the guest
And you all know the rest.
Money laundering is more than a hunch.September 12, 1997
At dodging the truth, Bill's a pro.
It's a trick that he learned long ago.
When the questions get rough,
He just sticks to his bluff
And hopes we won't see his nose grow.July 15, 1997
The people who live in Hong Kong
Must all learn to sing a new song.
Will the ones who won't sing
Disappear from the ring?
I guess we'll all know before long.July 3, 1997
It is said that Bill's equally fond
Of young women, both brunette and blonde.
How many said, "Yes",
Is anyone's guess.
It's not hard to catch perch in a pond.July 3, 1997
I stand here and watch in dismay
As our nation sinks into decay.
The source of our plight
Didn't come overnight.
Even Rome wasn't burned in a day.June 28, 1997
Clinton better think up something fast.
Starr is digging up "girls" from his past.
If the rumors are true,
There will be quite a few.
All together they'll make quite a cast!June 25, 1997
When it comes to Bill's sexual flings,
Will the troopers keep quiet or sing?
Come clean with the facts,
Or cover Bill's tracks?
Do they fear what their stories may bring?June 25, 1997
Bill loves power, the poor guy can't hide it.
He got hooked the first time that he tried it.
We were duped and supplied it
And Bill climbed astride it.
I wonder how long he can ride it?June 5, 1997
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
It's apparent we're all being screwed.
With the power Bill's slyly accrued,
He can use "proclamation"
To sell out our nation.
Don't take your eyes off of this dude!!!Using loopholes, Bill glides like an eel,
All over the world making "deals".
He enters the lairs
Of both tigers and bears.
U.S. assets are served with each meal.One thing we must all understand:
We are losing our rivers and lands.
The American prize
Has caught foreign eyes
And our future's now out of our hands.June 5, 1997
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
When Bill took the law and said, "Shove it!
Everyone knows I'm above it,"
The whole Supreme Court
Rose up with a snort,
And said, "No, you're not!" (Don't you love it?)June 3, 1997
Clinton chose Paula Jones from the flock
And sent word that he wanted to talk.
Paula wrongly assumed
She'd be safe in the room.
Can a chicken be safe from a hawk?June 2, 1997
Clinton spied Paula Jones; he was stirred.
A state trooper was sent with the word:
"You should be elated.
A new job's been created,
And chicks with big hair are preferred."June 1, 1997
Before Clinton had even met her,
He sent out a trooper to get her.
Paula's visit was brief
But brought grief, not relief.
Though he tries, we know Bill won't forget her.May 31, 1997
Bill Clinton thought he could compel
Sexual favors from state personnel.
He sought to cavort
By dropping his shorts,
Not expecting Miss Jones to rebel.The decision by our Supreme Court
Has jerked Clinton's necktie up short.
Before, when he lusted,
Bill never got busted.
He just thought he was being a "sport".Clinton's lawyers now work to dispel
Paula's claims that emit a foul smell.
Bill has given the job
To his pal, "Uncle Bob",
To avoid a courtroom "Show and Tell".May 29, 1997
There's one thing for Bill I can say:
He likes to give money away.
As long as the cash
Doesn't come from his stash!
So as usual the taxpayers pay.May 19, 1997
The goal Clinton seized on since birth
Was to wield the most power on earth.
He pulled all the stops
In his climb to the top.
In the long run, just what was it worth?May 19, 1997
What the heck is going on?????
Last month a Russian "cargo ship" was caught spying on a U.S. nuclear submarine in the Strait of Juan De Fuca between Canada and Washington State. The Russian "merchant vessel" fired a laser beam at a Canadian naval helicopter sent to take pictures of the unusually large antenna array on the ship. Using lasers to drive off surveillance planes is apparently not a new trick for the Russians.
The beam of red laser light caused burns to the eyes of the Canadian pilot and the U.S. Naval Officer taking pictures during the routine surveillance operation.
Later on, the ship was detained and searched but the suspected hand-held laser was not located. Then, even though one of the pictures taken from the helicopter provided concrete evidence that a laser had been used, the Russian ship was allowed to leave. The U.S decided to handle the situation with a diplomatic protest and a military probe. In other words, they swept it under the rug. The State Department apparently wanted to avoid any actions that might "upset" U.S.-Russian relations.
Upset? We should be the ones upset! Why was a known spy ship allowed to sail in our waters in the first place? Something is very, very wrong.
This time it was laser beams. I wonder what else is pointed at us?
A Russian spy ship was seen in the Strait
Between Canada and Washington State.
To protect their disguise,
They laser-beamed our guy's eyes
Why isn't the U.S. irate????May 15, 1997
There are some in high places afraid
That Web's loyalty is starting to fade.
Evidence is compelling;
Web knows more than he's telling.
Is he rethinking deals that he made?May 6,1997
Bill and Hillary have been relying
On McDougal to keep them from frying.
But as Jim faces jail,
His loyalty's grown stale.
He says he'll expose Clinton's lying.April 23, 1997
North Korea has raised her fierce head
As her neighbors and foes shake with dread.
If we remain blind
To what's on her mind,
It's not hard to guess what lies ahead.April 22, 1997
Democrats suffer pain quite acute
Since Bob Dole loaned Newt Gingrich the loot.
Their objective, long-term,
Was to make Gingrich squirm
While they plotted his push down the chute.April 21, 1997
Democrats are still pitching a fit.
Their anger at Gingrich won't quit.
They will bitch, moan and cry
Till their tear ducts run dry
And they learn to stop picking at nits.April 19, 1997
I don't know what else Newt can do
To appease David Bonior and crew.
Tho Newt's "debt" will be paid,
Bonior's hate won't be swayed.
Is a trip to a shrink overdue?April 18, 1997
To hold on to her place at the top,
Reno shields White House butts from the cops.
She has stated throughout,
A new counsel is "out".
What we need is a new broom and mop.April 16, 1997
Stop it! Enough is enough!
It's time that the congress got tough.
Push Reno aside.
Find out if Bill lied.
I'm tired of his stone-walling bluff!April 16, 1997
McDougal thought Bill would produce
A pardon to get him turned loose.
But Bill got cold feet
And let Jim take the heat.
Now the heat's on the Gander and Goose!April 15, 1997
To raise money, Al Gore seems quite proud
That he used every loop hole "allowed".
But poor Al never thought
That he would get caught.
Now his future is under a cloud.March 29, 1997
When George Bush parachuted through air,
He sailed down with high-spirited flair.
He landed with ease,
Not hurting his knees,
Unlike Bill in the White House wheelchair.March 26, 1997
What the heck's going on at Long Beach?
Just how far does the treachery reach?
There is no excuse
For this power abuse.
We demand that it STOP with a screech!!March 24, 1997
Clinton can't figure out what went wrong;
The "people" aren't singing his song.
Well, here is the jist:
The "people" are p...ed!
And are set to give Clinton the gong!!March 24, 1997
Off to China our V.P. has gone
While we wait to find out what will spawn.
What will Al Gore propose
That will add to our woes?
Don't you wonder just what's going on?March 24, 1997
If Al Gore is to have some success
Cleaning up his Chinese money mess,
He'll have to appease
His friends overseas
While avoiding his own U.S. press.March 22, 1997
Panama is no longer our "pal"
Now that China commands the canal.
There is no doubt
That we've been sold out,
And our ships confined to one locale.March 22, 1997
Campaign money does not grow on trees.
(Except trees that grow overseas.)
It should be no surprise
Corruption clouded some eyes
When Asian cash floated here on the breeze.March 20, 1997
Clinton's fall made him feel his own pain
And gave Gore a few hours to reign.
But Al had to brawl
With Bill's wife in the hall
Just to make her let go of the reins.March 19, 1997
Maybe now when Bill gets an "invite",
He'll think twice before roaming at night.
His instinct to explore
Landed him on the floor.
Perhaps next time he'll bring a Maglite!March 18, 1997
Bill and Al are beginning to sweat.
They've been caught doing things they regret.
With the press closing in,
They have traded their grins
For a big bottle of Tagamet.March 8, 1997
V. P. Gore did not show hesitation
Twisting arms to shake down big donations.
Party donors are steaming
From their financial reaming
And resent hints of intimidation.March 5, 1997
Raising funds on the edge brings a cost.
Al Gore skated too close and he lost.
Clinton zigged, then he zagged
And left Al with the bag,
Going down all alone, double-crossed.March 4, 1997
We used to be strong, but no more.
Our honor's been sold out the door.
World friends are dismayed
At the mess that we've made.
We can all thank the Clintons and Gore.March 1, 1997
Clinton must not be getting much sleep.
Facial furrows and bags appear deep.
As much as he tries,
He just can't disguise
That mistakes he has made won't be cheap.March 1, 1997
As we watch Clinton's White House ferment,
The press corp has picked up the scent.
Like a pack of lean hounds,
They will track the smell down
And find out what the stink represents.February 28, 1997
The U.S. Senate has just started poke'n
Into claims campaign laws have been broken.
Those who try to impede,
And intentionally mislead,
Will find out that Fred Thompson's not joke'n!If Senator Dodd has his way,
He'll derail the DNC exposé.
If there's nothing to hide,
Why not just step aside?
What secrets are hidden away?February 26, 1997
As the White Water story grows stale,
Sue McDougal still shields Clinton's tail.
Though the phone does not ring,
Sue refuses to sing,
As she faces more birthdays in jail.February 25, 1997
Ken Starr said, "There's too much at stake.
A career change right now's a mistake.
So re-cork your champagne
And let James off his chain.
I'm staying on for as long as it takes!"(James Carville, Democrat attack-dog-at-large)
February 22, 1997
Stonewalling by John Huang and Hubbell
Has gotten them both into trouble.
But the mortar between rocks
Is now crumbling like chalk,
Turning walls made of stone into rubble!February 21, 1997
The reports of a John Huang defection
Will not stimulate White House affection.
If the base of Bill's throne
Is torn down, stone by stone,
Mr. Huang may need full-time protection.February 21, 1997
In order to stem the drug flow,
A deal was made with Mexico.
But their "drug czar's" a crook,
A fact we overlooked.
Maybe someday we'll learn, but we're slow.February 21, 1997
Tainted cash is one source of Bill's woes
As exposure of Lippogate grows.
Though his hand he'll extend
To his rich Asian friends,
From now on, for snapshots, Bill won't pose.February 20, 1997
The probe of White Water won't stop.
Starr's team will not let the thing drop.
They plan to persist
And will follow each twist
As the path wends its way to the top.February 19, 1997
Ken Starr will soon open the doors
For professional pros-e-cu-tors.
The questions around town
Are "Who's going down?"
And "Will they cut straight to the core?"February 19, 1997
When Ken Starr bids the Clintons farewell,
It will not put an end to their Hell.
Starr has gathered a crew
To see White Water through,
And they all have a good sense of smell!February 18, 1997
The China to D.C. cash trail
Is being exposed in detail.
Unless I'm misled,
The money is red.
I wonder just what is for sale?February 18, 1997
The mood at the White House is tense
As subpoena deliveries commence.
Those facing indicting
Are engaged in nail-biting
While their hearts palpitate in suspense.February 17, 1997
Some question the First Lady's connection
To campaign funds for Bill's reelection.
But her careful replies
Will not reveal ties,
"I can't recall; I have no recollection."February 17, 1997
Clinton says he made no guarantees
To his White House guests from overseas.
But if they'll share their bread,
He'll make room in his bed,
And throw in the White House back door keys.February 14, 1997
The girls to whom Bill takes a shine
Are exposed to much more than "his line".
But whether clothed or quite bare,
He's always full of hot air
And he never sends out Valentines.February 13, 1997
The path Clinton chose for his life
Has produced a rich harvest of strife.
Bill is feeling harrassed
By gals from his past,
And last, but not least, his own wife.February 12, 1997
The White House computer debut
Has proved our suspicions were true.
The Big Brother hacks
Are digging up facts.
Is the Watch Bird at work watching you?February 9, 1997
Bill's experiencing something brand new:
The press isn't bowing on cue.
Clinton can't get much spin
With his Teflon worn thin.
They're getting wise but it's long overdue.February 4, 1997
Moral lapses we use to abhor
Taint the White House like never before.
Whether felons hardcore
Or backdoor paramours,
Folks are numb and don't care anymore.February 4, 1997
Bill's circle of friends is still growing.
Foreign interest shows no sign of slowing.
In a note from Khadafi:
"Let's meet and do coffee."
Besides java, what else will be flowing?February 3, 1997
In the future our grandkids will stare
At a portrait of Clinton somewhere.
He'll be holding a scroll
While he's taking a poll,
His wet finger held high in the air.February 3, 1997
There's no doubt Bill's a genial host.
"Coffee talk" keeps his old pals engrossed.
He puts on a good show
To part them from their dough.
The price is steep for a pot of French roast.February 2, 1997
When "Bipartisanship" got ready to sail,
Democrats snubbed their place at the rail.
Their petulant balk
Left them back on the dock,
Voices raised in an indignant wail.February 2, 1997
Why isn't Bill Clinton more curious
About White House activities spurious?
The evidence shows,
He already knows.
Otherwise he would no doubt be furious!!February 1, 1997
The handwriting's now on the wall.
The sword is poised ready to fall.
To avoid giving answers
About White House "cancers",
The only trick left is to stall.February 1, 1997
We may soon smell the odor of scorch
As Bill's pants feel the FBI torch.
When the facts are disclosed,
And veiled wrongs are exposed,
All Bill's dogs will take off for the porch!February 1, 1997
White House visitors taking a stroll
In the garden should watch out for holes.
You will not find slugs
Or other bad bugs
But the lawn has been riddled by "moles".January 31, 1997
Clouds of doom block the White House sunshine,
Casting shadows on those who've been lyin'.
Our two heads of state
May soon get the gate.
If they had any class, they'd resign.January 31, 1997
When the fund-raising iceberg floats by,
You can see just the part that rides high.
The rest of the floe
Lies hidden below
In the murk, out of view of the eye.January 30, 1997
Regardless of what some folks think,
U.S. finances stand right on the brink.
Waste and greed are widespread,
All the hogs are well-fed,
Leaving books that all glow with red ink.January 30, 1997
Helen Thomas, from the D.C. Press Corp,
Fired the question Bill couldn't ignore:
Is the White House for sale?
Bill Clinton turned pale.
Helen can't buy Bill's act anymore.Bill stammered and tried hard to frame
An answer to shift all the blame.
Much to his dismay
The Press had a heyday
Till Bill finally limped off looking lame.Then I looked all around to find Gore.
Did he opt to steer clear of Bill's war?
When his commander-in-chief
Was in need of relief
Al was scarce as a live dinosaur.As the White House unravels before us,
Al regrets his First Chair in the chorus.
So he waits patiently,
Forming rings like a tree,
While he waits for his own turn to bore us.January 29, 1997
Democrats have played footloose and fast
Throwing "bombs" but were caught in the blast.
When they used dynamite,
It gave off lots of light.
They can't hide their soiled present and past.Now the spotlight is pointed their way
But the White House has little to say.
They cloak their warships
With "bi-partisanship"
To avoid a melt-down exposé!!January 29, 1997
When Bill Clinton is feeling the spirit,
He craves feminine company to cheer it.
He chose Paula one day
But she said, "No way!!!",
Left the room and refused to go near it.January 27, 1997
Candidate Clinton was not being square
With our old folks about medicare.
Now the campaign's put to bed
With healthcare changes ahead.
"Bait and Switch" on the sick isn't fair.January 23, 1997
As I watched the inaugural affair,
It was hard to ignore Clinton's hair.
It made such a sight
As it gleamed silver-white
That I almost went blind from the glare.The hair growing from Bill's pate and crown
Has been dyed shades of gray, blond and brown.
Hair shades of this man
Reflect his game plan
But are subject to change by sundown.January 20, 1997
David Brinkley cut straight to the core
When he said that Bill Clinton's a bore.
Speeches seem never-ending
While our ears he is bending.
The only thing worse would be Gore.January 19, 1997
Democrats have new reason to groan.
One more scheme to "get Newt" has been blown.
Tapes of a phone call
Will lead to the downfall
Of Jim M. (and he won't be alone!)In their drive to get Gingrich "adjourned",
Democrats don't care what laws are spurned.
The liberal stakes must be high
To risk it all on one guy.
Are their own hides at risk to get burned?The two "bumpkins" from Florida knew
Cell-phone taping they did was taboo.
Sensing great opportunity,
They first sought immunity
And expected applause for their coup.But instead of the praise that they sought,
Someone squealed, told the press, they were caught.
They should have known
They'd be standing alone
If the scab got ripped off of the plot.So in spite of their efforts to please,
They're as welcome as dogs with the fleas.
"Friends" tend to withdraw
When you've broken the law
And let you take the blame for the sleaze.These pawns, to the Democrats shame,
Were abandoned to shoulder the blame.
Intrigue and excitement
Could end in indictment.
Politics is a mighty rough game!January 14, 1997
Politicians are not all corrupt
But a few can't survive a closeup.
Their adventures risqué
Have been hidden away
But like corks, they just keep popping up.January 12, 1997
The next weeks could become a nightmare
As Bill Clinton is forced to prepare
For the Paula Jones case
And then come face to face
With the gal he showed his underwear.Paula says she'll describe what she saw
As the governor stood there partially raw.
His crude invitation
Did not need translation.
What he needed was a right to the jaw!!January 9, 1997
Clinton's gala that's now being planned
Will be presidentially grand.
After cruising the snacks
Bill may bring out his sax
And ask to sit in with the band.If Bill wants Barbra Steisand to sing,
He must give her permission to bring
Her current white knight
To spend the whole night
In the White House like a queen and a king.January 9, 1997
The two limericks below are about the disputed House of Representatives seat in southern California. After a very bloody campaign, incumbent Bob Dornan "lost" the race to newcomer Lorreta Sanchez in a very tight finish. Less than 1000 votes. Loretta packed her bags and headed to Washington D.C. with a triumphant smile.
Only one problem: evidence of wide-spread voter fraud has been discovered. Some illegal voters have even admitted it. Dornan is understandably displeased and has filed legal papers with congress contesting the outcome of the election. How will it all turn out? Who knows? But it sure casts a cloud of doom over our election process.
Sanchez said to the press yesterday,
Bob Dornan should just "go away".
"He doesn't get it somehow
That I'm in the House now.
I've moved in and I'm planning to stay!"Now I wonder what Sanchez will do
If voter fraud allegations prove true.
Will she cut short her stay
And just "go away"?
Or throw a fit, hold her breath and turn blue!January 8, 1997
Democrats tried to cause a delay
In electing a Speaker today.
But their tactics all failed
And Newt Gingrich prevailed.
Democrats got their butts kicked. Hurray!January 7, 1997
Foes have tried to force Newt to resign
But they can't seem to sever his spine.
Until a Democrat's there
In the House Speaker's chair,
Democrats will do nothing but whine.January 5, 1997
Bill Clinton's fund-raising machine
Accepted some checks that weren't clean.
Many Asian donations
Have caused consternation.
Stay tuned for the "Perils of Pauline".Pauline, a bright Thai business gal
Knows her way 'round the D.C. locale.
And when her schedule is free,
She joins Clinton for tea,
And brings money to boost his morale.Donations from P. Kanchanalak
The DNC had to cough up and give back.
But when the press made a call,
Pauline had "no idea at all"
Of the source of the tainted greenbacks.January 3, 1997
Bonior buzzed around Newt like a fly
As he tried to find dirt on the guy.
But his quest was a bust,
'cuz he only found dust,
And Newt still has his piece of the pie.Bonior should have known right from the start
Gingrich did not intend to depart.
To knock Newt from the lead
And make the guy "bleed",
It takes more than a few cloak-room darts.January 2, 1997
Democrats want to give Newt the boot
So they've trumped up an "ethics" dispute.
Bonior and his wolf pack
Are on the attack
As they yip, yap and howl in pursuit.Many wolves in the pack will regret it
As their own ethics have little credit.
Before casting a stone
They should look at their own.
My advice to the Speaker? Don't sweat it!
And so why are the Democrats sour?
That's not hard. They've lost most of their power.
To get some of it back
They must give Newt the sack
Or turn him into a political wallflower.December 30, 1996
B-1 Bob simply won't go away
As he proves voter fraud in L.A.
He now has enough proof
To raise Congress' roof
And make it clean up election decay.Ms. Sanchez is caught in the mess
As supporters are forced to confess.
She would not have won
Without fraud that they spun.
The vote hangs on a thousand or less.December 27, 1996
Angry women and minorities aren't pleased
So Bill Clinton can't help feeling squeezed.
To get 'em off of his neck,
Prop 209 he'll reject
And just hope their demands are appeased.December 23, 1996
Bill again showed his bright yellow streak
Under cover of darkness last week.
He will work to suspend
209 for his friends,
He revealed Friday night in a squeak.December 23, 1996
David Bonior won't be happy 'til
Speaker Gingrich is gone from the hill.
Bonior leads the attack
Of the Democrat pack
From the top of their liberal molehill.Speaker Gingrich admits he was lax
Checking legal forms dealing with tax.
But Bonior's made him a decoy
To draw fire from his own boy,
And let heat dissipate from Bill's tracks.December 23, 1996
If their chances for futures are waived,
Oakland's black students may not be saved.
It sure seems ironic,
And almost demonic,
That "ebonics" could keep them enslaved.December 21, 1996
When the press shook Bill's "legal defense" tree,
Who fell out but Bill's friend, Charlie Trie,
And envelopes full of money
That both looked and smelled "funny",
Accompanied by fortune cookies and tea.
A closer look at the checks verify
Some appear to be signed by the same guy.
And suspicions were stirred
By the same misspelled word
And suggest something's definitely awry.
These donations to Bill's defense fund
Eventually had to be shunned.
Then the funds disappeared
Before the mystery was cleared.
But I doubt the news leaves many stunned.December 19, 1996
When the Congress and Bill meet to chat
About budgets, they end in a spat.
But a new game's beginning
And in the first inning
They'll make Bill take the first turn at bat.December 10, 1996
Regarding Proposition 209 on the California ballot last November:
When we voted and 209 passed,
Equal treatment was within our grasp.
But a judge did not like it
And decided to strike it.
I think we've been bit by an asp.December 9, 1996
Some federal judges are clearly devoted
To striking down laws on which we all voted.
They wield too much power.
Our justice system's gone sour.
Some judges need to be dumped or demoted.December 7, 1996
The probe by Ken Starr will be ending.
Indictments for some folks are pending.
Like it or not,
Some big fish were caught.
More than one will need big-time defending.December 4, 1996
James Carville, with antics bizarre,
Gloves on, mouth in gear, set to spar,
Has climbed into the ring
And has started to swing.
He wants to knock out Kenneth Starr!December 4, 1996
The news media just loves to stir
Corporate pots to dig up racial slurs.
They're creatively lax
Publicizing "the facts".
Cameras roll when the big fights occur!December 4, 1996
Racial strife is a media attraction.
TV news thrives on violence and action.
Newsmen stir up the hate
Then they stand back and wait
And watch for the arrival of Jackson.December 4, 1996
Clinton's sending troops into Zaire.
Somewhere over a thousand, I hear.
But that's just the core.
Over four thousand more
Will be needed to cover their rears.If we let Clinton order our troops
To Zaire, then we are indeed stupes!
Cholera's on the rampage
Plus a new strain of AIDS
In the midst of a tribal dispute.Pardon me if I sound a bit rude
But the African problem's not "food".
The fact folks ignore
Is the place is at "war"!
Bags of grain will not mellow the mood.To bring food to the African hordes,
Left to die by their fighting warlords,
Is a neighborly thing
But it never will bring
An end to the bullets and swords.November 15, 1996
Clinton says, "I know how hard you've tried,
But you do not have proof that we've lied.
My record's not blighted.
We've not been indicted."
(But then neither were Bonnie and Clyde.)November 8, 1996
Clinton's backside got caught in a snare
When he promised to "save Medicare".
Seniors gave their support.
The ball's now in Bill's court.
But I doubt our old folks have a prayer.November 8, 1996
Paula Jones will again have to wait
If Bill side-steps another court date.
In the end, we will find,
Justice is indeed blind
To the plight of unwilling "playmates".November 7, 1996
In the war to be "King of the Polls",
The news media sold out their souls.
Elections aren't games!
Media should feel ashamed!
News "reporters" should examine their goals.November 7, 1996
If Clinton mentions that "bridge" one more time,
I will scream to the heavens! (in rhyme)
I will rant, I will swear,
I may pull out my hair,
As I look for a tall tree to climb!November 6, 1996
The election is over at last.
By now all the votes have been cast.
It's the end of "Act Two",
But the play isn't through.
Clinton's third act will be unsurpassed!November 6, 1996
If it's true what the "talking heads" say,
It was women who carried the day.
They love billing and cooing
And succumbed to Bill's wooing.
He conned their votes and was gone the same day.November 6, 1996
Bill Clinton's regime cannot last.
The depth of corruption is vast.
Far more than seduction
Or bimbo eruption,
He'll be felled by the die that he cast.November 6, 1996
Clinton's cabinet is now on the spot
As the climate around them gets hot.
So it is no surprise
That the ones who are wise
Are packing up and taking off like a shot!November 6, 1996
Clinton/Gore voters aren't unaware
That a stench emanates from this pair.
When election polls close,
They'll let go of their nose,
But they'll find out the stink is still there.November 4, 1996
Clinton kills budget bills with a strike,
But he's forced to sign some he dislikes.
But before the ink dries,
He makes plans to revise
All the bills that his buddies don't like.November 4, 1996
Democrats are now feeling the squeeze
As their "base" begins showing unease.
But Clinton just scoffs
As he brushes blame off.
He explains, "Every dog has its fleas."November 3, 1996
Clinton treats the campaign like it's chess,
Sending pawns out to clean up each mess.
And when Bill's speech is done,
He takes off at a run,
To avoid meeting up with the press.November 3, 1996
Clinton sees clouds of doom overhead,
Linked to bribes and corruption widespread.
No matter how the folks vote,
There is no antidote.
Clinton knows there are bad times ahead.November 3, 1996
Nervous tongues are now starting to wag
As new scandals throw up bright red flags.
Adding fuel to the fire,
Clinton's laundry grows higher,
Overworking the White House Maytag.November 3, 1996
Clinton states, just as if it were true,
"Russian missiles aren't pointed at you!"
To that, I've one word:
I think it's "absurd"!
We'll be safe when Bill bids us adieu.November 3, 1996
Clinton says, with his usual bombast,
"Missile danger's a thing of the past."
But I guess we won't know
Till the sky's all aglow.
That is, if we live through the blast.November 3, 1996
The FEC wants to take a good look
At the Democrat's "money bag" book.
The Dems say with a smile,
"It's not ready to file.
And it won't be till we hire a new cook."November 3, 1996
On the subject of bribes, I am split:
Should politicians accept them or quit?
If we do not object
To those big foreign checks,
They might balance our trade deficit.November 2, 1996
The White House is sick with "dry rot"
Brought on by thick scandals and plots.
Bob Dole won't stop trying
To keep it from dying.
To save it, he'll give all he's got.November 2, 1996
To Bob and Jack, a tough fight isn't new.
Now it's time to sign-on to their crew.
We must put our oars in
And help these men win
As the finish line comes into view.November 2, 1996
Clinton's campaign is coming undone.
He has problems he cannot outrun.
The deeds he produced
Have come home to roost.
He'll go down wrapped in webs that he spun.November 2, 1996
It has recently become quite plain:
Our economy's circling the drain.
We are barely afloat,
Without a lifeboat.
But the Clintons still sip their champagne.November 2, 1996
Pollsters point to a huge gender gap,
Female votes falling into Bill's lap.
Are they deaf, dumb and blind?
Have they all lost their minds?
Don't they know they've stepped into a trap?November 2, 1996
The Indonesian Connection is fact.
But a new campaign scandal has cracked:
Some claim Clinton's chummy
With Russian Mafia money.
Foreign bribes prove we're being attacked.November 1, 1996
White House visits by Huang day and night
Are explained in a favorable light:
They insist this is true;
Their John Huangs equal "two"!
But we all know two Huangs don't make a right!November 1, 1996
Bill Clinton views truth with contempt;
To hide it, he makes no attempt.
The assortment of lies
From the mouth of this guy
Show that somehow he thinks he's exempt.November 1, 1996
Bill Clinton, who has stepped in deep shit,
Fears the jury won't vote to acquit.
So he'll use the Rose Garden
To announce his own pardon.
I guess that's his idea of "True Grit".October 31, 1996
Halloween brings out pirates and fairies,
Plus a rash of strange monsters all hairy.
But for "Tricks" (and no treats!),
Bill and Al have them beat.
They're the ones that I think are most scary.October 31, 1996
Clinton hopes all the old folks are hicks
Who will fall for his lies, oh, so slick.
Clinton tells them, "Beware!
Dole will rob your Medicare!"
Then too late they'll find out it's a trick.October 30, 1996
The camel's back has received its last straw.
There are two things that just rub me raw.
The source of my cries
Are all those damned lies
And Clinton's utter comtempt for the law.October 30, 1996
Democrats must now sing a new song
Because of a fellow named Huang.
Foreign coins in their purse
Have brought with them a curse
And they can't figure out what went wrong.October 29, 1996
When the truth and a falsehood collide,
It does not push Bill Clinton off stride.
For a guy who's so smart,
He can't tell them apart.
But I don't really think he has tried.October 29, 1996
The people who know me the best
Understand why it's Bill I detest.
I simply despise
A man who tells lies
While he secretly feathers his nest.October 26, 1996
The speeches, debates and the patter,
Add up to a whole bunch of clatter.
When our minds are quite numb
We'll be sufficiently dumb
So to us the truth simply won't matter.October 26, 1996
During the presidential debate in San Diego, Bill Clinton employed a subtle maneuver designed to make Bob Dole uncomfortable. Instead of remaining still and respectful while waiting for his own turn, Bill moved slowly around behind Bob's back or just within his peripheral vision. There was no reason for the positioning and movement except to act as a distraction. The intent was obvious. The only thing missing was the theme song from "Jaws". Bob took it all in stride.
I cannot help but wonder how President Clinton would like it if someone walked up behind him or made unnecessary movements while he was getting ready for a golf shot? There'd be some pretty sharp words spewing forth, I'd be willing to bet.
The debate candidates strolled while talking,
A technique to score "style" points while walking.
But when Bob's turn came, Bill
Did not try to stand still.
It sure looked like a clear case of "stalking".October 23, 1996
The First Lady may soon be indicted.
Her dealings are being spotlighted.
But we all know full well
She won't land in a cell,
And her wrongs will not ever be righted.October 23, 1996
Yes, it matters what Clinton inhaled
And how many loose women he's nailed.
Presidential "recreation"
Affects the whole nation.
And when faced with temptation, he failed.October 13, 1996
If age seventy is "long in the tooth",
Why is fifty considered "a youth?"
And if based upon lies,
How can "clever" mean "wise"?
What we need is a "Bridge to the Truth"!October 13, 1996
There is one thing I can't figure out:
What's this "Bridge to the Future" about?
There is no time gap.
We don't need a map.
There's no way we can stray from the route.October 11, 1996
About Bosnian war "mission creep":
Clinton hopes we are all fast asleep.
U.S. troops coming back
Are replaced without flack,
With only kids, wives and moms left to weep.October 10, 1996
U.S. troops to the Bosnian war
Would be home before Christmas, Bill swore.
But he didn't mention
It was his intention
To replace them with 5,000 more!October 3, 1996
If it's true what the pollsters all say,
Bill Clinton will carry the day.
With our cash and his lies,
He'll have purchased the prize,
And his cronies will have the last bray.October 2, 1996
If he wins, Bill can climb off the fence.
There will be no more need for pretense.
Like it or not,
We'll see what we bought,
And find out what we're all up against.October 2, 1996
When I watch network newscasts today,
I know I can't trust what they say.
They've developed a knack
Of mixing fiction with fact.
When you mix white and black, you get gray.
TV news can be purged of this blight.
You can remove the left slant overnight.
Take a big wooden wedge
And shove it under the edge
Of the boob tube till the picture looks right.October 1, 1996
We all know deep down in our guts
That a White Water deal has been cut:
The crooks will go free
If they all will agree
To mark time and to keep their mouths shut.September 27, 1996
Susan M has Bill over a barrel.
All the knowledge she has isn't sterile.
And if she's a smart cookie,
She will say, "OK, Snookie,
Pardon me or your future's in peril!"September 27, 1996
The FBI files in the Filegate flap have hit the news again. Apparently the access logs that recorded the names of people who "checked out" the various files while they were at the White House have been tampered with. In fact, about 6 months worth of the access log pages from 1994 are missing. So is Mari Anderson, the executive assistant that worked under Craig Livingstone.
The senate committee wants to talk to Mari about the missing log pages. But apparently Mari doesn't want to talk to them. She has dropped out of sight and the U.S. Marshal's Office is attempting to track her down so that they can serve her with a subpoena to testify before the senate committe.
My, my, my. The web is growing larger and stickier by the day.
Mari Anderson's gone underground.
What she knows about Filegate's profound!
For the 6-month "log" gap
Has her caught in a trap
And the Senate has sent out the hounds.
The White House is hoping that Mari
Keeps her cool and then cleverly buries
All their dirt underneath
And then lies through her teeth
After burning all the "logs" she can carry.September 26, 1996
What's with that two-toned vocal affectation that Clinton uses? That grating, "fingernails on blackboard" sound sets my nerves on edge.
The puzzling part about it is the way it comes and goes, depending on whether he wants to appear strong and "presidential" or wants to play on the sympathies of his audience. Very, very strange.Actually, it's not strange at all. But it's sad that so many people accept Clinton's Act at face value and don't catch on that they're being cleverly reeled in like a school of fish caught in a seine.
Clinton's gravely voice is a clue
That his rasp is not due to the flu.
It could be allergies
To dust, pollen or fleas
Or he may have inhaled a kazoo.September 26, 1996
About Clinton's campaign speech at the edge of the Grand Canyon
in Arizona: Some people were irate because they couldn't see the trees that used to be behind the speaker's platform and thought they had been cut down to provide a more spectacular backdrop for Clinton's "photo ops". A newspaper report quoting park officials stated that "yellow ropes" had been used to pull the trees out of the way so the view would be enhanced for the news cameras.Now I've heard everything!
Those who came to hear Clinton topside
Thought the Grand Canyon trees had all died.
But park rangers declare
The trees are still there.
For photo ops, they just tied them aside.September 25, 1996
Clinton's been neither crowned nor ordained
But his reign has been far from restrained.
When folks wake up 'tomorrow',
They will find, to their sorrow,
Who's in line to receive the royal pain.
If we follow Bill Clinton's road map,
A "Century Bridge" must be built 'cross the gap.
But when it comes right down to it,
Just who's going to do it?
And who pays for this dream in gift wrap?September 23, 1996
* * *
THE DEMOCRAT GANG ATTENDS CONVENTION
Senator Chris Dodd, George Stephanopoulos and James Carville at the Republican Convention in San Diego?? Wait a minute! Democrats at a Republican Convention? Could there be a little "overt-covert" election sleuthing going on?
It's not hard to perceive the intent
Of the lib-er-al white-haired old gent,
But it did seem quite odd
To see Senator Dodd,
Walking 'round in the GOP "tent".
Stephanopoulos, with his media "invite",
Was the biggest surprise of the night.
Despite his lib-er-al bent,
He looked at home in the tent.
Has he made a small shift to the right?
James Carville's wry smile is engage'n.
But behind it, his sharp mind is stage'n
A fat bag of tricks
For campaign '96.
Bob and Jack, keep an eye on this Cajun!
Included on Page Two:
Limericks about Bob Dole and Jack Kemp (latest entry 9-23-96)
Limericks by Other Authors (latest entry 8-1-97)
Limerick Variety Pack (a variety of odd-ball subjects)
And a poem about the Clarence Thomas/Anita Hill Senate Confirmation Hearing
* * *Links To Other Pages On Our Web Site:
Tiny R's Page - The Adventures of the Mini-Lop House Rabbit who lives with us.
Nursing and Medical Limericks and Poems - Some stories, too. Original. Based on 20+ years of hospital nursing experience.
Dogs, House Rabbits & Cats - Limericks, Poems, Rhymes and Stories About Our Pets and Wild Critters We Have Known.
Links to Other Web Sites
Webster Limerick Links - Many Links to Limerick Collections Found All Over the Web. Compiled by Kathi.
E-mail address: bettyann@cassano.com
Page posted August 3, 1996
Last update February 7, 1998
All material contained on this page was written by Betty
Ann Cassano unless otherwise noted.
Copyright 1996 -1998 ~~~~ All Rights Reserved